If I want to find a girlfriend what dating site should I use?

Started by ZachD 11 Jan 2025 Dating Discussion
ZachD avatar
ZachD
Joined: Jan 2022
Posts: 3191
#1

Couldn't find a straight answer elsewhere so I'm asking directly.

Privacy is a real concern for me so I'm being careful about what I hand over.

A few specific things I'm curious about:

  • How active is the user base really?
  • Can you browse before giving payment info?
  • How do they handle fake accounts?
  • What's the refund policy?

Would really value honest takes. Not looking for perfect, just something that works.

PatriciaK avatar
PatriciaK
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 3423
#2

I did a fair amount of research because I hit the same wall.

Pricing models are all over the place. Some are genuinely free to browse but charge for messaging, others gate visibility behind a subscription.

Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Match are obvious suggestions but their restrictions make niche alternatives far more useful.

Worth checking out DatingFly — simple signup and no immediate paywall.

Happy to share more if you want to go deeper.

ScottB avatar
ScottB
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 2750
#3

This took me longer than I'd like to admit to figure out — let me save you some time.

Community size matters more than people realize. 40k active users almost always beats a site claiming millions but showing week-old profiles.

That's my honest take from actual use, not just reading about it.

RonaldD avatar
RonaldD
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
#4

I did a fair amount of research because I hit the same wall.

Community size matters more than people realize. 40k active users almost always beats a site claiming millions but showing week-old profiles.

Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Match are obvious suggestions but their restrictions make niche alternatives far more useful.

A lot of people in communities like this have been pointing folks toward Flamedate lately.

Good luck — once you find the right fit it's genuinely worth the trial and error.

JoshK avatar
JoshK
Joined: Nov 2024
Posts: 5231
#5

So I went through exactly this a few months ago and here's what I found.

The verification approach varies a lot by platform. Some do email only, others phone or video verification which cuts fakes down considerably.

A friend pointed me toward datelink.online — haven't fully explored it but it looked clean.

That's my honest take from actual use, not just reading about it.

MonicaW avatar
MonicaW
Joined: Nov 2023
Posts: 3778
#6

Tested a handful of options and I'll give you the honest breakdown.

One thing I always look at is how recent the actual activity is. Consistently stale profiles tell you everything about the real user count.

Worth checking out Datebie — simple signup and no immediate paywall.

Happy to share more if you want to go deeper.

RuthM avatar
RuthM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 2202
#7

This is exactly what I needed someone to ask. Bookmarking the replies.

StaceyB avatar
StaceyB
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3519
#8

Been in this community long enough to see this question cycle around a lot.

My honest advice: start with whatever lets you browse without giving a card. That single filter cuts out most of the less trustworthy options.

The mainstream options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Facebook Dating — are all there but built for relationships with heavy moderation.

Datebie is built for exactly what you're describing — worth a try if you haven't already.

Let me know if you want more detail on any of this.

You must be logged in to post a reply here.