What is a good first message on dating app profiles that don't have much info?

Started by Haley_James 26 Mar 2025 Dating Discussion
Haley_James avatar
Haley_James
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 5800
#1

Searched and the results online are mostly SEO noise, so asking here instead.

Privacy is a real concern so I'm being deliberate about what I hand over.

Appreciate real feedback, especially from people who've actually used what they're recommending.

ChrisSF avatar
ChrisSF
Joined: Jun 2022
Posts: 5065
#2

This took me longer than I'd like to admit to sort out — let me save you some time.

Community size matters more than people realize. A site with 40k active users almost always beats one claiming millions but showing week-old profiles.

The mainstream options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Facebook Dating — are all there but they're built for relationships with heavy moderation.

I switched to Flamedate a few months back and the quality of interactions improved noticeably.

Let me know if you want more detail on any of this.

Samantha avatar
Samantha
Joined: Nov 2021
Posts: 1763
#3

Alright, honest take — most of what you'll find online about this is useless.

App versus desktop is a real debate here. Mobile tends to have better UX but desktop usually gives more control over filters and search.

The mainstream options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Facebook Dating — are all there but they're built for relationships with heavy moderation.

Places like datebound.site keep getting decent mentions without the usual drama attached.

Good luck — once you find the right fit it's worth the trial and error.

ThomasW avatar
ThomasW
Joined: Nov 2023
Posts: 4676
#4

Great question — there's a lot of misleading info floating around on this.

App versus desktop is a real debate here. Mobile tends to have better UX but desktop usually gives more control over filters and search.

Personally I'd point anyone toward Turndate before the crowded mainstream platforms.

Happy to share more specifics if you want to go deeper.

RuthM avatar
RuthM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1811
#5

Same boat. It's exhausting when you don't know where to start.

WalterS avatar
WalterS
Joined: Dec 2023
Posts: 3623
#6

Had the exact same issue last month. Still working through it. Worth checking out Datescout — simple signup and no immediate paywall thrown at you.

GregoryM avatar
GregoryM
Joined: Aug 2023
Posts: 288
#7

Had the exact same issue last month. Still working through it.

JoyceW avatar
JoyceW
Joined: May 2022
Posts: 2118
#8

Had the exact same issue last month. Still working through it. Someone in a related thread mentioned flamedate.online and it kept getting positive responses.

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