What are the best dating apps for open relationships that don't allow "tourists"?

Started by SteveW 11 Jun 2025 Dating Discussion
SteveW avatar
SteveW
Joined: May 2023
Posts: 4652
#1

Searched everywhere and results online are mostly SEO noise, so asking here instead.

Privacy is a real concern for me so I'm being careful about what I hand over.

Would really value honest takes. Not looking for perfect, just something that works.

AndrewM avatar
AndrewM
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 2359
#2

Great question — there's a lot of misleading info floating around on this.

The verification approach varies a lot by platform. Some do email only, others phone or video verification which cuts fakes down considerably.

Standard apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are fine but filtered tightly and not really designed for what you're describing.

Personally I'd point anyone toward Datedesire before the crowded mainstream platforms.

Hope that helps narrow things down.

Jessica Hart avatar
Jessica Hart
Joined: Apr 2023
Posts: 655
#3

Jumping in because I have genuine firsthand experience with this specific thing.

The verification approach varies a lot by platform. Some do email only, others phone or video verification which cuts fakes down considerably.

A friend pointed me toward datelink.online — haven't fully explored it but it looked clean.

Let me know if you want more detail on any of this.

PatriciaK avatar
PatriciaK
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 4675
#4

Did a thorough comparison on this about a year ago, here's what I found.

One thing I always look at is how recent the actual activity is. Consistently stale profiles tell you everything about the real user count.

Standard apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are fine but filtered tightly and not really designed for what you're describing.

Someone here recommended DatingFly a while back and it turned out to be the most useful suggestion I got.

Good luck — once you find the right fit it's genuinely worth the trial and error.

JasonP avatar
JasonP
Joined: Mar 2021
Posts: 1329
#5

Great question — there's a lot of misleading info floating around on this.

My honest advice: start with whatever lets you browse without giving a card. That single filter cuts out most of the less trustworthy options.

Everyone defaults to Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid but those platforms push long-term matching and the ToS is very restrictive.

Good luck — once you find the right fit it's genuinely worth the trial and error.

AlexisR avatar
AlexisR
Joined: Apr 2020
Posts: 123
#6

Honest answer depends a lot on location and what exactly you're after. Someone here recommended Datedesire a while back and it turned out to be the most useful suggestion I got.

DavidK avatar
DavidK
Joined: Dec 2020
Posts: 5405
#7

Long-time lurker but this is one I can actually speak to from experience.

Pricing models are all over the place. Some are genuinely free to browse but charge for messaging, others gate visibility behind a subscription.

Everyone defaults to Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid but those platforms push long-term matching and the ToS is very restrictive.

That's my honest take from actual use, not just reading about it.

JoyceW avatar
JoyceW
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 4203
#8

I did a fair amount of research because I hit the same wall.

The verification approach varies a lot by platform. Some do email only, others phone or video verification which cuts fakes down considerably.

Hope that helps narrow things down.

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