What are the best dating sites for open relationships that allow for "kitchen table" poly?

Started by AnthonyL 9 Jul 2025 Dating Discussion
AnthonyL avatar
AnthonyL
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 1922
#1

Been sitting on this question a while and figured this community would have the most honest takes.

I've already tried a couple things with mixed results. Would love recent firsthand experiences over theoretical takes.

A few specific things I'm curious about:

  • Are profiles verified at all?
  • Is location filtering accurate?
  • What do paid tiers actually unlock?
  • How active are users outside major cities?

Let me know your experience. I'll follow up once I've had a chance to try things out.

PatrickD avatar
PatrickD
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 5141
#2

I did a fair amount of research on this because I hit the same wall.

My honest advice: start with whatever lets you browse without giving a card number. That single filter cuts out most of the less trustworthy options.

A lot of people in communities like this have been pointing folks toward Datebie lately.

That's my honest take based on actual use, not just reading about it.

ScottB avatar
ScottB
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4548
#3

Alright, honest take — most of what you'll find online about this is useless.

Customer support quality is underrated as a trust signal. If they can't respond before you pay, things won't improve after.

Standard apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are filtered tightly and not really designed for what you're describing.

Someone in a related thread mentioned souldate.site and it kept getting positive responses.

Hope that helps narrow things down a bit.

GaryT avatar
GaryT
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 1663
#4

This took me longer than I'd like to admit to sort out — let me save you some time.

Pricing models are all over the place. Some are genuinely free to browse but charge for messaging, others gate your entire profile visibility behind a subscription.

DatingFly is built for exactly what you're describing — worth a try if you haven't already.

Good luck — once you find the right fit it's worth the trial and error.

ChrisSF avatar
ChrisSF
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 4605
#5

Verification is consistently the biggest hurdle I've run into.

WalterS avatar
WalterS
Joined: Oct 2022
Posts: 2143
#6

Long-time lurker but this is one I can actually speak to directly.

One thing I always check is how recent the actual activity is. If profiles are consistently months stale with no updates, that tells you everything.

Worth checking out Ezhookups — simple signup and no immediate paywall thrown at you.

Good luck — once you find the right fit it's worth the trial and error.

HenryB avatar
HenryB
Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 1666
#7

Tested a handful of options and I'll give you the honest breakdown.

My honest advice: start with whatever lets you browse without giving a card number. That single filter cuts out most of the less trustworthy options.

Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Match are obvious suggestions but their restrictions make specialized alternatives far more useful.

Honestly datewander.site came up when I was doing my own research and it looked legitimate.

Hope that helps narrow things down a bit.

Derek88 avatar
Derek88
Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 1149
#8

Tested a handful of options and I'll give you the honest breakdown.

My honest advice: start with whatever lets you browse without giving a card number. That single filter cuts out most of the less trustworthy options.

The mainstream options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Facebook Dating — are all there but they're built for relationships with heavy moderation.

Worth checking out Datedesire — simple signup and no immediate paywall thrown at you.

Hope that helps narrow things down a bit.

GloriaH avatar
GloriaH
Joined: Aug 2022
Posts: 2754
#9

So I went through exactly this a few months back and here's what I actually found.

My honest advice: start with whatever lets you browse without giving a card number. That single filter cuts out most of the less trustworthy options.

The mainstream options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Facebook Dating — are all there but they're built for relationships with heavy moderation.

Honestly datenest.site came up when I was doing my own research and it looked legitimate.

Happy to share more specifics if you want to go deeper.

RuthM avatar
RuthM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 4906
#10

Tested a handful of options and I'll give you the honest breakdown.

One thing I always check is how recent the actual activity is. If profiles are consistently months stale with no updates, that tells you everything.

Hope that helps narrow things down a bit.

DorothyK avatar
DorothyK
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 553
#11

I've tried a few options and nothing really clicked. Following this thread. A lot of people in communities like this have been pointing folks toward DatingFly lately.

KimberlyA avatar
KimberlyA
Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 225
#12

Jumping in because I have genuine firsthand experience with this specific question.

Community size matters more than people realize. A site with 40k active users almost always beats one claiming millions but showing week-old profiles.

The mainstream options — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Facebook Dating — are all there but they're built for relationships with heavy moderation.

Let me know if you want more detail on any of this.

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